I have made the horrible mistake of not taking my own advice.

The whole point of this blog was to encourage others to get out there and get at it, even in the midst of trouble because it’s important to, yet I’ll admit after the creation of this blog things got a little out of control. Let’s just say I’ve been falling a little short here and there, but most distressingly I didn’t prioritize my happiness and my health.

I had been wondering why the outside stressers of the world had been more than I thought I could take, but then I realized I hadn’t been spending much time outside, or more appropriately: doing what I loved the most on this earth. The past couple of months have left me feeling overwhelmed and uncertain, which I know happens to everyone, and probably a lot higher in frequency these days. But man has it been a real kicker?

Ever had that anxiety where your chest physically hurts? That’s where I’ve been! Over here in Funville, where the worrying never stops and the pressure never drops.

This summer has been interesting, as the temperature is starting to drop here in Colorado I’m beginning to reflect a little more on this past season (I go by temperature/season, not by month when thinking of time periods by the way) and I’ve come to the conclusion it wasn’t very productive. About once a month since my last article I’ve typed a page or two but then gave up, scrapping the idea and scrapping the post in frustration. “No one wants to read this,” I kept saying to myself. Most of them were about my knee issues I’ve been having or about topics I really couldn’t get into energy-wise, leaving me slightly hollow and uninspired. I hadn’t really been able to hike due to the pain, my finances had taken the proverbial hit, and a long term relationship had ended, revealing lots of unknowns.

It can be tough doing something you like when the world is clamoring for your attention. Sometimes I think we feel that we don’t deserve to go out for some quick hike or that bike ride because there’s more important things we have to accomplish to make money or do well at work. That’s at least where I’m coming from: lots of guilt from underperformance.

But I’ve come to realize that I will continue to underperform if I don’t stop and think about what I can do to nurture my passion for nature or my love for writing. If you are constantly on the go doing things that stress you out you will burn out. There’s no way around it, and I’ve learned this the very hard way.

It’s interesting, the correlation between my stress levels and the time I spend outside. I imagine it’s like a perfectly clear graph with a humorous slant that plummets downward in despair; allowing even the most skeptical of scientists to draw the definitive conclusion that my happiness depends solely on the number of trees seen. (The drama, I know).

Overall I made very little time for frolicking in fields or sleeping under stars, which was not how I pictured the year of 2021 to go for me, but such is life I suppose. I did however have two “notables” that I can look back and smile on, so the year wasn’t a total bust!

An evening pack-in to Heaven!

I will touch on Crater Lakes in the James Peak Wilderness in full in another post, so I won’t get too technical on this one, but for now all that you need to know is that this trail, situated by the Moffat Tunnel is absolutely the closest thing to Heaven I’ve ever seen.

As I said I had been having knee problems, but I knew I could handle this hike and was feeling up to the challenge, so I invited a friend along and we drove up fairly late in the day. This was due to my inability to plan or pack ahead of time, and yes I assume full responsibility for the late start and the trek in the dark. Which by the way I do not recommend, even if you know the trail sometimes you can be led astray by alternate routes or game trails. Yikes! Fortunately we arrived in one piece and for the most part we were able to stay on the actual trail.

But I like to joke and say it was like a surprise because the next morning we awoke to a whole new landscape that was concealed in the dark the night before, and it didn’t disappoint. My friend was absolutely blown away. It was like there was magic involved, like a rustic teleportation from the bustling city and into the pristine wilderness.

This is by far my favorite place to hike/sleep as the terrain has varied components to it. There are three bodies of water (maybe four, technically), and one of them, Upper Crater Lake, is a hefty trek up a hill and situated above the other two. It sits in an impressive indent with some ice patches clinging to the sides of the walls surrounding it.

If you are like me and feel more spiritual in nature, which I think most of us do, I definitely recommend going there as it pulls on one’s spiritual side, particularly because it makes you feel so small in contrast to the giant world of mountains. Its recluse location also made me feel like I stumbled upon a secret of sorts that only the animals and the sky knew existed, it was like I didn’t belong there until I relinquished any predisposition that I wasn’t a part of the natural order of things. But then I drank from the water of the crater and I was baptized into this hidden world of peace.

Simple mornings like that-with nothing nudging at my agenda except for the very basic task of collecting water- are so special to me. It’s such a small thing,I know. But there’s a likeness there to an earlier time, and I like to think I’m walking in the footsteps of prehistoric peoples when I converge on the same spot they may have been centuries before.

The synchronicity with the natural world becomes more apparent too, when all I have to do for the day is simply exist like the very rocks I scrambled over or the trees I’ve leaned on for support. I think every person needs to experience this sort of mental break and seclusion in nature. It is my belief that it helps us wrestle with the idea that we are alright just simply living, and not constantly on the run to prove out worth in our own society. It was precisely what I needed.

Birthday Summit of Sherman

The second event I really wanted to share with you is my very recent summit of Mt. Sherman.

Mt. Sherman is now my 11th fourteener. For those of you who may not know, in Colorado there are 54 glorious mounds towering at or beyond 14,000 feet above sea level, and for many, hiking them all is a hard-earned goal but a thrilling one to pursue. Often-times perilous, these mountains have claimed several lives over the years from anything like lightning strikes to falls, and they are a biting reminder that we as humans are truly at the mercy of mother nature. I myself would like to summit them all one day, but as for now I’m taking what I can, where I can and when I can.

What made this trip so special to me was that it was my first fourteener since I messed up my knees from running and I was concerned that doing one might set me back, or that the pain would interfere with my mountainous goals, but on the contrary Sherman helped me gain back my confidence. Now granted, the approach from Four Mile Creek was actually quite forgiving, but I was treating it like it was Mt. Everest and wasn’t guaranteed a summit, so when I actually made it I had that certain appreciation that I think only injuries can bring about and I was laughing and more giddy than usual at the top.

We started early, but not as early as I usually try for when doing a more intense hike like this. By the time we had eaten breakfast, which for me consisted of pumpkin seeds and coffee because that was all I could stomach, it was growing lighter and lighter outside and our carefully laid plan was thrown to the wind. Not that I minded though, it was freezing cold and I thought seriously about snuggling up in the seat and waiting at the bottom for my friend. But that nagging adventurous side drop-kicked my shivers to the curb and forced me out of the car; one step, zip, and sigh at a time. Ultimately we started walking at about 0630.

I had made some new additions to my gear this year including a new shell and I had purchased some new trekking poles from REI just before the trip, and I was ready to put their “Trailbreak” series and my knees to the test. Everything else was the usual “kit” I liked to refer to it as when hiking, and I daresay I finally got my layering down.

It wasn’t until we reached the saddle that the typical cold from the elevation kicked in. We had been in the sun and were well protected by the rocky slope until then and oh boy, was it windy! I hastily pulled my beanie on to protect my ears which I thought might fall off from the windchill…the drama! But soon enough we were once again sheltered in our ascent and I remember saying over and over again as we encroached on our goal like little ants that, “Oh my gosh! This is my favorite thing…my favorite thing to do, I’m so happy!”

We made it to the top and found that walking across it was fairly easy and flat, as well as complete with little blinds to sit behind and enjoy a snack while barricaded from the relentless wind. I had an almond butter sandwich on some sprouted grain bread-a favorite-in place of my usual everything bagel that I like to take hiking, I suppose I was just out this time around though but still it was deliciously nutty and healthy, which was the most important part.

On a side note, I have been really curious about my diet and nutrition as of late, and I keep edging myself closer to the ‘raw’ way of things (as if Vegan wasn’t scary enough, right?) Hence the increasingly minimal-ingredient snacks I’ve been stocking up on at the grocery store. I don’t think I could ever go “full-raw” but after reading some great books which I’ll definitely go into for a later-timed hiking food discussion, I have been pondering a new goal for my nutrition: 65% regular and 35% raw foods being ingested in a day. We’ll see how it goes though, I love my soy lattes and my olive oil so maybe that’s a different kind of mountain I’ll have to climb down the road. Anyway, back to hiking!

After a leisurely lunch we made our way back down, passing upcoming climbers and wishing them well or delivering condition reports as we went; all the while in high spirits from the adrenaline and the sense of accomplishment. Although I must say that when climbing a fourteener, knowing that the summit-the end goal-is only the halfway point of the trail is funny in its own type-two fun sort of way. I don’t know why, but that little thought has always amused me (on the way down, of course).

There’s no greater relief than reaching the car after a long hike, and as much as I was glad that I’d left it that morning, I was certainly just as excited to return to it once more. But the knees were in tact, the morale was high, and the stomach was yet again, empty. So in conclusion, we did it right.

I slept so well that night that I don’t remember dreaming and and when I awoke the next morning it took a while for the stress that I had been carrying to reannounce itself, afraid to step into the relaxed light. It was a welcome reminder that I needed to get back to it.

I am planning on more adventures, of course, and with the busy schedule I’ve built it might be a little tight. But at the end of the day I’ve recognized the value in making myself do it and keep my commitments to my health and wellness. After all, no one is going to benefit or lose anything in this except for me, so why not?

Thank you so much for reading my little declaration of productivity and self-love, it means a lot to me that you came to my corner.

Cheers, friends!